LarryBoy, Versus the Volcano Read online

  “Please proceed,” urged Bok Choy patiently.

  Larryboy stood up and read: “Don’t be proud. Be willing to be a friend of people who aren’t considered important. Don’t think that you are better than others.”

  “Very good, Larryboy,” said their wise instructor. “As the Handbook says, when we think we’re better than others, we become proud and arrogant. And when we’re arrogant, we don’t want to be seen with people we think are unimportant. We exclude them and don’t treat them as God wants us to.”

  Bok Choy paused because no one was paying attention. Every superhero was watching the clock, counting the seconds to when the bell would ring. So Bok Choy yanked the clock off the wall and hung it around his neck like a giant medallion. That way, at least the students would be looking in his direction.

  He continued, “When we exclude others, we become filled with even more pride and arrogance. So remember that EVERYONE is important in God’s eyes. As superheroes, you should set an example of this.”

  Bok Choy stopped and sighed. “Did any of you hear one word I said?”

  Nope. Every eye was waiting for the second hand on the clock to make one final sweep. 5-4-3-2-1 …

  RINNNNNNNNNGGGGG!

  The bell had rung. Class was over.

  “Vacation time!”

  Like a stampede of crazed water buffaloes, the entire class stormed out of the room. If Bok Choy hadn’t done his famous ninja triple flip into the air, he might have been trampled to the ground. Instead, he wound up safely on top of his desk, nestled securely inside Larryboy’s rubber duck.

  “I know exactly how you feel,” he said to the duck. “After a class like today, I’m pretty deflated, too.”

  CHAPTER 7

  SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS

  Chili Pepper and his sidekick, Coconut, stood on the edge of the Superhero Island runway, watching superhero after superhero arrive by supersonic jet, atomic-powered helicopter, or rocket backpack. Larryboy swooped in on his Larryplane.

  “De plane! De plane!” Coconut shouted as each plane hit the runway. “De plane! De plane! De—”

  “Coconut, knock it off,” Chili Pepper said.

  “Sorry, Boss. But I always wanted to say that.”

  As Larryboy and Archie hopped out of the cockpit, several island girls rushed up to take their luggage, hand them a glass of lemonade, and welcome them to Superhero Island. Each girl wore a sticker that said, “HELLO, My name is _____. I’m not as important as you.”

  “Didn’t I tell you this would be great?” said Larryboy. “I feel relaxed already!”

  “I’m glad someone’s relaxed,” said Archibald. He wasn’t feeling very comfortable disguised as Larryboy’s airplane mechanic, wearing bib overalls, a bandana, and grease streaked across his face–probably the only mechanic to wear a monocle.

  The island was paradise—the thick rain forest was overrun with monkeys and colorful birds. The water was clear, the waterfalls plentiful, and beautiful streams cut across the landscape from a huge, majestic mountain in the center of the island.

  “That’s Mount Superhero,” announced Chili Pepper, as he and Coconut welcomed their guests.

  “And that’s Chili Pepper, the Snooty Gourmet,” whispered Larryboy to Archie. “I watch his cooking show on TV all the time. If he’s running things, the food’s gonna be great! Chili-filled donuts … chili pancakes … chili chocolate cake …!”

  “He must like his chili hot and spicy,” noted Archie, as Chili Pepper tossed a breath mint into his mouth. “His breath could peel wallpaper.”

  Everything on the island was picture-perfect postcard. Except for one slight hitch.

  As the superheroes lined up to enter the resort, Chili Pepper asked each one of them a question.

  “What makes you a superhero?” Chili asked Larryboy’s friend Lemon Twist.

  “At an early age, I discovered that I had the ability to control the air within a one-foot radius around my body,” Lemon Twist said. “I can create gale-force winds.”

  “Nice, very nice,” said Chili Pepper. “You may enter.”

  Lemon Twist hopped forward, and a robotic arm shot out from the wall, planting an invisible stamp smack in the center of her forehead.

  As each superhero entered the resort, it was always the same question. “What makes you a superhero?”

  Unfortunately, some didn’t make the cut.

  “My super power is shooting straw wrappers for distances up to a half mile using a highly refined laser guidance system,” said a lima bean who called himself Straw Man.

  Chili Pepper scoffed. “You call that a superhero power? Sorry, you’re not important enough. Go home.”

  In desperation, Straw Man pulled out one of his laser-guided straws. But before he could fire off a single wrapper, a robotic foot came out of the wall and booted Straw Man out of line.

  “Some people have all the nerve,” Larryboy whispered to Archie. “They think they’re an important superhero when they’re NOT. Party crashers.”

  “And what makes you a superhero?” Chili Pepper asked when Larryboy finally reached the front of the line.

  “My supersuction ears!” Larryboy declared proudly, his cape flapping in the breeze. “I even have my own line of action figures. I AM THAT HERO!”

  “But what is your super power?” Chili Pepper asked.

  Larryboy was stunned. “Super power? Well …”

  “Some superheroes don’t have special powers,” Archie chimed in. “Instead, Larryboy uses amazing gadgets and vehicles, such as the Larryplane and the Larrymobile. I should know. I work on them. See the grease?”

  “I’ve protected Bumblyburg from dastardly villains for years,” Larryboy added, panic rising. “You can’t exclude me from the island!”

  “Calm down,” said Chili Pepper. “You can stay on the island, but I’m afraid you won’t be included in the First Class section of our exclusive resort. Because you don’t have special powers, you and your mechanic will have to stay in the Second Class section.”

  Larryboy let out a big sigh of relief. “Second Class section. I can live with that. That’s not so bad. That’s—”

  Suddenly, the robotic boot gave both Larryboy and Archie a big wallop. Kicked high in the air, the caped cucumber and his mechanic landed head-first in the sand—right in front of the Second Class entrance.

  Larryboy popped his head out of the sand and looked at the gate to the Second Class section. The gate was falling off of its rusty hinges.

  “Carry yer own luggage,” snapped a snooty servant, walking by with his nose in the air.

  “Are we having fun yet?” Archie asked, spitting sand from his mouth.

  CHAPTER 8

  RECIPE FOR DISASTER

  Later that night, Coconut was going nuts. Freaking out. He dashed into their secret cave hideout, only to find Chili Pepper calmly cooking another gigantic pot of chili.

  “What is it now, big guy?” Chili asked, rolling his eyes.

  “That rock! He’s here. On the island. I saw a rock, and it stared at me with EYES! It was really creepy!”

  “So what’s the big deal?” asked Chili Pepper.

  “That volcanic rock is going to be furious when he finds out what we’re doing to the island’s volcano!”

  “You worry too much, Coconut. It’s not good for your digestion. Now read that recipe back to me.” Although Chili Pepper liked hot food, he was one cool customer.

  “Which recipe?” Coconut said, flipping through the Evil Genius Cookbook.

  “You know, the recipe for my greatest culinary creation of all time: Volcano Chili!”

  “Oh. Right. Here it is,” said Coconut. “First step: Fill the inside of a volcano with 23 zillion gallons of chili. Stir vigorously.”

  “Done,” said Chili Pepper.

  “Second step: Add 14 trillion pounds of shredded cheese.”

  “Done.”

  “Third,” continued Coconut, “while the chili simmers, bake 33 billion giant dinner roll
s, then add them to the volcanic mixture.”

  “That’s also been done.”

  “Turn on the invisible force field to trap everyone on the island.”

  “Check,” said Chili Pepper.

  “Make sure your escape pod is ready,” read Coconut. “Done.”

  “Finally, bring chili to a boil, then trigger several underground explosions. A volcanic eruption should occur within an hour. Serves 135.”

  “Aha! Setting the timer for an explosion is the only thing left for us to do,” said Chili Pepper, pushing a button on a remote-control device.

  WHIRRRRRRR … KA-CHUNK!

  That was the sound of an entire cave wall sliding open to reveal what looked like the largest pop can ever created. The can was as big as a house, and it contained Chili Pepper’s personal brand of pop–Chili-Cola, a spicy, chili-flavored soft drink.

  “That’s one big can,” said Coconut. “What’s it got to do with explosions?”

  “Watch and learn,” said Chili. He pushed another button, and a huge mechanical hand shot out of the wall. It grabbed the monstrous can and began to shake … and shake … and shake.

  “OOOOOOOOOOO, I get it,” said Coconut. “Shake this can, and it explodes when you open it.”

  “That’s right,” laughed Chili Pepper villainously. “We’re going to let this can shake all day. When the top is popped tomorrow, this carbonated time bomb is going to fizz and explode, setting off a chain reaction. The exploding pop can will trigger earthquakes, causing the volcano to blow, which will destroy the entire island! Every superhero here will be trapped as the island slowly sinks into the sea.”

  Coconut and Chili Pepper clambered up a spiral staircase that ran alongside the monstrous pop can.

  “What should I set it for, Boss?” Coconut asked, peering at the timer on the shaking machine.

  “Fourteen hours should give us plenty of time. We’ve got to make our guests feel at home … before they’re blown to bits.”

  The countdown began. The island had become a giant, ticking time bomb, ready to pop its top.

  By the following morning, disaster would be served.

  CHAPTER 9

  BEACH BUMMER

  The next day, Bob and Vicki found Larryboy and Archie on the Second Class beach, trying to catch a little sun.

  While Vicki snapped photos, Bob pulled out his notebook and peppered Larryboy with questions. “So how’s everything on the Second Class side?”

  “Is this on the record?” Larryboy asked.

  Bob nodded.

  “Well, I’m glad you asked, Bob! Things are LOUSY on the Second Class side of the island. Service is horrible! The dinners come out of vending machines. And there are no maids to clean up the rooms.”

  “He’s correct,” added Archie. “So many things on this side of the island are broken that a roll of duct tape is left in every room, right next to the Standard Superhero Handbook (which is also taped together).”

  Even the Second Class beach was a mess. The sand was covered with little burrs that stuck to your body. And every beach chair was patched together with … what else? Duct tape.

  But that wasn’t the worst of it.

  “HOWDY! HOWDY! HOWDY! My name is Tourist-Man!”

  That was the worst of it.

  Tourist-Man was a carrot whose super power was his ability to put people to sleep with his boring vacation pictures. He wore a bright Hawaiian shirt, lugged around three huge pieces of luggage filled with photo albums and vacation slides, and spoke so loudly that you wished he had a mute button.

  “SAY CHEESE!” yelled Tourist-Man obnoxiously.

  FLASH!

  Did I mention that he also carried around a camera and took flash pictures in your face approximately every five seconds?

  “I guess I’ll be on the Second Class side of the beach from now on!” Tourist-Man shouted, setting up his slide projector right there on the beach. “I just got voted off of the other side of the island. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?”

  “I can’t imagine why,” said Bob sarcastically.

  “Say, I like your camera!” Tourist-Man noted, when he spotted Vicki’s camera equipment. “Does it have a flash as bright as mine? SAY CHEESE!”

  FLASH!

  Vicki staggered backwards as the light left her seeing spots. “You can get sunburn from a flash that bright,” she said, running into a nearby palm tree.

  “Isn’t it great?” beamed Tourist-Man.

  Quietly escaping Tourist-Man’s chaotic presence, Larryboy wandered over to the huge privacy wall that separated the First Class side from the Second Class side of the beach. The voices of happy, laughing superheroes on the other side infuriated him. He felt terribly left out.

  “THAT’S IT!” Larryboy scowled. “I’m not taking this any more! I’m going over the wall!”

  With that, the caped cucumber climbed up the wall and squeezed beneath the barbed wire top. Then he leaped onto the First Class side of the beach …

  … and found himself in a whole new world.

  CHAPTER 10

  THE SUPER SNUB

  On the First Class side, the beach was as white as snow. Not a burr in sight. Servants swarmed everywhere, serving every superhero’s desire. The First Class superheroes also had their pick of jet skis, motorboats, sailboats, scuba gear, and even jet packs.

  Larryboy tried to blend in with the First Class crowd but was immediately spotted.

  “What ya’ll doing here, Larryboy?” asked Sweet Potato, a down-home Southern superhero who happened to be as strong as a Mack Truck.

  “Sssshhhhh, I’m just hanging out,” whispered Larryboy.

  “Hey, Larryboy, what’s up?” asked Lemon Twist. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the Second Class side? Or have you developed special powers in the past day?”

  The Scarlet Tomato, following just behind Lemon Twist, chuckled. “I don’t-a think Chili Pepper will be happy if he sees-a you here. This side is-a for the more important superheroes, you know.”

  “You don’t believe that, do you?” Larryboy said.

  “Well, it does make some sense,” said Sweet Potato. “I mean, if ya’ll didn’t have your contraptions, you wouldn’t be much of a superhero, would you, sweet thing? We’re superheroes, with or without contraptions. That makes us more important.”

  “As my uncle Guido would-a say, ‘If you-a got it, you-a got it.’ And we-a got it,” said the Scarlet Tomato.

  “What seems to be the trouble here?” boomed a loud voice from directly behind Larryboy. It was Coconut, the bouncer.

  Coconut took one look at Larryboy and nearly split his shell. “WHAT are you doing on the First Class side of the beach, pickle boy?”

  “It’s really very simple …”

  “Save your breath, gadget guy!” said Coconut as he hurled Larryboy up and over the wall.

  Back on the Second Class side of the beach, Bob, Vicki, Archie, and Tourist-Man watched as Larryboy came sailing over the wall, landing headfirst in the sand.

  “SAY CHEESE!” Tourist-Man exclaimed, clicking photos of Larryboy upside down in the sand.

  FLASH!

  Larryboy felt rejected and all-around lousy … until he realized there was something under the sand where he landed.

  “This is strange,” he said—although with his head in the sand it sounded more like, “MMMM MM MMMMMMM.”

  Archie helped Larryboy out of the sand. Larryboy repeated himself. “Guys! There’s something here!”

  As the group gathered around, Larryboy used the toy beach shovel on his utility belt to dig wildly in the sand. About a foot below the surface, he uncovered a metal trapdoor.

  “I bet I know what that is,” Larryboy said. “It’s a secret passageway to the First Class side of the beach.”

  Bob whistled softly. “You could be right.”

  “I’ll check it out.”

  The caped cucumber yanked open the hatch and leaped in–which was not a good move. He should have looked before he leaped.

&nb
sp; “Yikes!”

  Yikes was right. Larryboy found himself tumbling toward a stream of very hot liquid. And if he wasn’t mistaken, it looked an awful lot like lava. Red-hot lava. Volcanic lava.

  “ARCHIE! HEEEEEEEEEELP!”

  CHAPTER 11

  THE TIME BOMB

  Larryboy fired off both of his supersuction ears. The first suction cup hit a slippery stalactite in the underground cave but didn’t catch hold. (Stalactites are those pointy rocks that hang down from cave ceilings like fangs.) The second plunger caught the cave’s ceiling just in time, preventing Larryboy from taking a very hot lava bath. The caped cucumber dangled upside down from the tether cord, only inches above the thick, steaming liquid. “SAY CHEESE!” called Tourist-Man from the trapdoor above.

  FLASH!

  “Excuse me, Tourist-Man,” said Archie, bumping the carrot aside as he peeked down into the cave.

  “Are you all right, Larryboy? What’s down there?”

  “Well … at first I thought it was lava,” said Larryboy. “But after I took a couple of sniffs, I think it smells an awful lot like chili.”

  Larryboy stuck out his tongue and took a taste. “Mmmmmmmm, tastes like chili!” He took another slurp.

  “Easy, Larryboy, you’ve already had four bowls of Chili Crunch cereal this morning,” said Archie. “You don’t want to spend the rest of this adventure in the bathroom.”

  “Good point. Do you suppose Chili Pepper is behind all of this chili?” Larryboy asked.

  “Most likely,” said Archie. “But I’m not sure why.”

  “There’s a ladder leading down here. Why don’t you climb down and help me find some clues!” Larryboy called. “There’s also a path alongside this stream.”

  Archie, Bob, and Vicki clambered down the ladder and released Larryboy from the ceiling. Tourist-Man wasn’t far behind, groaning as he dragged along his three giant pieces of luggage and his camera.

  “Do you have to carry luggage everywhere you go?” Vicki asked.

  “Wouldn’t be caught dead without it,” said Tourist-Man, wheeling around and nearly knocking Bob into the chili-lava with one of his suitcases. Larryboy caught Bob just in time by using a supersuction ear.